How do I express anger without hurting people?

Anger may tell you that something matters or that a limit has been crossed. It does not automatically tell you what happened, who intended what or which action will help.

When you are able, separate the event from the accusation you want to make about the other person's character. "You interrupted me twice and I want to finish" gives a conversation somewhere to go. "You never respect anyone" invites a larger trial.

If you feel close to shouting, threatening or becoming physical, create safe distance and pause rather than demanding that the discussion continue. Agree a return point when that is safe and realistic; a pause should not become punishment through disappearance.

You can take anger seriously without granting it permission to frighten someone. If controlling your behaviour is difficult or recurring, seek qualified help rather than expecting the next argument to teach you restraint.

Jing distinguishes the signal from the action. I would also ask what you hope the other person will understand when the anger has passed. That question can change the form of what you say now.

Speaking quietly is not the only measure of respect. You can use a calm voice to belittle someone, just as you can speak with strong feeling while remaining clear about the issue.

Name the conduct, its effect and what you need to happen differently. Leave room to hear something you did not know. Understanding another account does not require withdrawing a necessary boundary.

Where there is intimidation or danger, the aim is safety, not a more elegant argument. Some conversations require support or distance before they can reasonably require mutual understanding.

Anger has appointed itself head of public announcements. It has a powerful voice and very poor fact-checking procedures.

Its first draft usually contains "always", "never" and a complete history of the defendant's personality. I recommend an editor. Not a censor: something may genuinely need saying.

Jang asks what you want understood. Give the announcement that subject. "I need you to stop opening my post" is clearer than a twenty-minute documentary entitled "Your Entire Character".

If the broadcaster starts proposing threats or smashed furniture, take it off air and get help with the situation. That is not a dramatic finale; people can be frightened or hurt.

The microphone may be loud. It does not make the speaker correct about every matter placed before the station.