How do I rest without feeling that I should be productive?

You may be waiting for a feeling of permission that finishing the next task never quite provides. If you have learned to recognise your value mainly through usefulness, an empty afternoon can feel less like freedom than a loss of identity.

That is one possibility, not a diagnosis. You might also have more demands than anyone could comfortably manage. Your guilt deserves context, not another assignment in self-improvement.

Try allowing a modest period of rest without requiring yourself to enjoy it perfectly. You can feel restless and still remain seated. You can leave something unfinished without deciding that it does not matter.

I would not justify every pause by promising that you will work better afterwards. That leaves the same judge in charge. Some of your time may belong to you without producing evidence in your defence.

I agree that rest should not have to improve tomorrow's work. But ‘some time belongs to me’ may be difficult to practise if everyone around you has already made plans for it.

Before treating the guilt as a private habit, look at how the work is shared. Who takes over when you stop? Who has assumed that you will not stop? A quiet hour may require an ordinary conversation about washing dishes more than a new attitude towards existence.

And when you do have that hour, let it be an hour. If you spend it checking whether you have become sufficiently peaceful, you have brought a supervisor with you.

You need not defeat the thought that you should be useful. You might notice it, refrain from obeying it this once, and continue drinking your tea.

I entered a competitive relaxation event once. Lost immediately. I was trying to win.

The rules were surprisingly demanding: do nothing, but do it better than last Tuesday. Maintain a record of your breathing. Increase leisure efficiency by twelve per cent. Demonstrate measurable improvement in looking at a tree.

Jing would like to dismiss the judge. Jang would like to stop bringing the supervisor. I fear both officials have already enrolled in a mindfulness leadership course and will return with certificates.

My alternative event has no stopwatch, no personal best and no photograph proving you attended. You may lie down badly. You may spend twenty minutes thinking about a sandwich.

If someone asks what you achieved, tell them the results are confidential. We cannot have rival nations learning our sandwich technique.