How do I stop caring so much about what other people think?

Other people's opinions matter because belonging matters. The aim need not be to become immune to them. It may be to stop treating every possible opinion as equally entitled to direct your life.

Whose disappointment feels especially difficult? Sometimes a room full of imaginary critics is really one familiar voice wearing several coats. That is a possibility to explore, not an explanation I can assign to you.

Distinguish feedback about your conduct from a demand that you become more convenient. A friend saying you hurt them deserves attention. A stranger disliking your harmless preference may deserve very little.

Try one modest choice you can stand behind without collecting advance approval. You may feel exposed afterwards. You can learn to bear that feeling without interpreting it as proof that you made a mistake.

Jing asks whose opinion has acquired authority. I would also ask what sort of person you want to be in relation to others. Complete indifference would leave you unable to learn from the people you affect.

There is a difference between considering a judgement and placing yourself entirely in its hands. You can listen, examine what is fair and decline what does not fit.

When I taught, a student's criticism sometimes felt like an attack because I had mistaken being respected for never being challenged. Listening became easier when the task mattered more than preserving my image.

Perhaps choose a few commitments you can explain to yourself: kindness, honesty, competent work. They will not make everyone approve. They may give you something steadier than approval to consult.

I once appointed the general public as my personal board of directors. Terrible decision. They disagreed about everything and none of them attended when the washing machine broke.

Their minutes were contradictory: be distinctive, but less odd; be confident, but do not draw attention; follow your dreams, preferably the ones we selected.

Jang wants a few commitments. Excellent. A short constitution is easier to carry than a stadium full of unsolicited reviews.

Give trusted people an actual seat at the table. The rest may submit comments to an imaginary pigeonhole. I recommend a small one. It discourages lengthy submissions.

You will still hear them occasionally. Public boards are noisy. But you need not adjourn your entire life every time somebody in the cheap seats clears their throat.