How do I know when to keep trying and when to let go?

Persistence can feel virtuous even after the reason for persisting has changed. You may have begun because something mattered and continued because stopping would seem to make the effort meaningless.

Look at what another attempt could realistically teach or change. Is there new information, a different approach or reciprocal effort? Or are you repeating the same action mainly because the previous attempts cost so much?

Letting go need not require deciding that the person, project or hope was worthless. Sometimes it means acknowledging that its importance does not give you unlimited power over the outcome.

You might set a specific point for review and decide what evidence would matter then. A pause, a changed goal and an ending are different possibilities. You do not have to squeeze all three into the word "failure".

Jing asks whether another attempt can change anything. I would also ask what the attempt is doing to the person making it. A worthwhile aim can still be pursued in a way that consumes everything needed to live.

Yet difficulty alone does not tell you that a path should end. Some commitments become meaningful through the patience they require. The question is whether your patience remains attentive or has become a way of refusing to see.

Notice whether you can alter your approach when circumstances change. If only one outcome is permitted, you may be defending an identity rather than responding to what is happening.

Releasing an outcome is not always abandoning care. You may continue caring while allowing the form of the commitment to change.

I once kept a museum open because closing it would mean admitting that the museum was not working. This was an excellent method of making a failing museum more expensive.

At some point the exhibition became "Man Refuses To Notice Electricity Bill". Visitors found it repetitive.

Jing would like evidence that another attempt might help. I support this radical approach. It would have saved us the room labelled "Perhaps A Larger Sign".

Try asking whether you are repairing the boat or merely polishing the name you painted on it. The name may be splendid. The floor can still be wet.

You need not sink dramatically to demonstrate commitment. Sometimes the dignified conclusion is to come ashore, dry your socks and stop calling the bucket a long-term strategy.