Should I end a friendship that feels one-sided?

A friendship can feel one-sided because one person gives more, or because the things each person offers do not match. You may initiate every meeting while your friend provides generous attention once you are together. That can still leave you lonely, but the distinction helps you describe what is missing.

Consider whether this is a temporary imbalance during a difficult period or the established condition of the friendship. If you want to preserve it, say what you miss and request something specific rather than silently testing whether they will notice your withdrawal.

Their response will tell you more than another month of trying harder. You can reduce what you give, change the kind of friendship you expect, or let it end. Feeling affection for someone does not require maintaining an arrangement that repeatedly makes you feel unimportant.

Friendships do not need to balance every week. Illness, grief, care and other demands can make receiving the main contribution someone is able to make for a while. A careful friendship has room for unequal seasons.

Jing asks whether the imbalance has become the whole arrangement. I agree. There is a difference between responding to a friend's limited capacity and accepting permanent indifference. A brief message acknowledging what you give may matter even when an equal return is impossible.

Before ending things, consider whether a smaller expectation would make the relationship honest. Someone may be a good occasional companion and an unavailable confidant. You need not assign them the role they cannot fill.

If even that smaller place leaves you diminished, distance may be right. You can step back without turning the friendship into a contest over which person has the better record.

A friendship should not require you to play both sides of the tennis court. You serve, run around the net, return your own ball and congratulate your friend on a lovely afternoon. They have been at the café since three.

Jang allows unequal seasons. Sensible. A friend with a broken leg should not be penalised for failing to cover the baseline. But it helps to know whether they intend to return to the game or believe your running is the sport.

Try putting down the spare racket. Ask for something recognisable: an invitation, a reply, an interest in your news. This is a conversation, not a secret tournament whose scoring system only you know.

You may change to an occasional game. You may choose another court. Either is preferable to accepting a trophy for doubles while doing wind sprints alone. The trophy, naturally, is at their house.